What to Do When You Don’t Know What You Want in Life or Your Career
If you don’t know what you want in life or your career, trying harder to figure it out may not be the answer. Creating more mental space can help you find clarity, reconnect with yourself and identify your next step.
It’s one thing to feel stuck because you’re afraid to go after what you want.
But what about when you feel stuck because you don’t know what you want?
Not knowing can feel daunting, especially when you’re ambitious.
You have all this energy to create, build and move forward. But when you don’t know where you’re going, what do you do with that energy?
I know that feeling. I’ve lived it, and I hear about it often from my coaching clients.
Over time, I’ve learned that “I don’t know” rarely means we’ve reached a dead end.
More often, it means we haven’t created enough space in our lives for the answers to emerge.
Why clarity rarely arrives when we force it
Our brains spend a lot of time in what’s known as the task-positive network—the mode that helps us concentrate, solve problems and get things done.
It’s incredibly useful. But our most meaningful insights don’t always appear while we’re actively trying to find them.
They often surface when the brain’s default mode network becomes active: during quieter moments when we’re walking, showering, driving, cooking or simply allowing our minds to wander.
This is why an idea can suddenly arrive in the shower after hours of getting nowhere at your desk.
The challenge is that most of us don’t spend much time in that quieter state anymore.
The moment there’s a gap, we fill it with our phones, podcasts, television or another task on our to-do list.
We consume other people’s thoughts before we’ve had a chance to hear our own.
So perhaps it’s no wonder we don’t know.
Sometimes you need space more than an answer
I’ve been through many seasons when I genuinely didn’t know what to do next.
And yet, more often than not, I would go for a walk along my favourite canal in London or head out onto the trails in Kelowna—and something would shift.
Not because I was trying harder to figure it out.
Because I had finally created enough space for something to emerge.
I wouldn’t necessarily return with a five-year plan. But I would often come back with something even more useful:
A little more clarity.
A hit of inspiration.
A question I hadn’t considered.
Or sometimes, simply the next step.
What to do when you don’t know what you want
If you’re in an “I don’t know” season of life, ask yourself:
Am I creating enough space to hear myself think?
You might experiment with:
Taking a walk without bringing a podcast
Driving somewhere without immediately turning on music
Sitting outside without reaching for your phone
Writing freely without trying to produce an answer
Giving yourself time to cook, move or create without additional stimulation
Leaving a little unplanned space in your day
You don’t need to sit perfectly still or force yourself to meditate. The place and activity don’t really matter.
What matters is creating enough room for your thoughts to catch up with you.
There is wisdom in what emerges through silence, not only in what you consciously figure out.
Because sometimes the answer isn’t something you need to find.
It’s something you finally make room to hear.
Feeling unsure about what comes next?
Coaching can give you the space, questions and support to find clarity, reconnect with what you want and take your next step.
With love and encouragement,
Ashley
Ashley Marcinek is an ICF-certified executive, life and career coach who helps ambitious professionals find clarity, strengthen their self-trust and create meaningful change in how they work, lead and live. Through one-to-one coaching, workshops and leadership development programs, she supports people navigating career transitions, leadership growth and periods of feeling stuck.
